Scattered

Its been a while that i slept at an earthly hour. Its been almost a month now that i have been sleeping at 3 a.m. each night (well almost day break). I dont know what i attribute it to? No matter how sleepy i am, or no matter what time i get into bed, i dont doze off before 3 (waking up is a story in itself).

I am thinking (or so i think). My thoughts are scattered. Its about managing expectations... That of my 'would be family' and my current family and club that with the job, well i am all over the place. There is so much to do and so little time. Sometimes i think i fail at managing at all.

Its a double edge sword that is difficult to tread. Its something that needs to be done in a manner which makes everyone a winner and makes all fall in place. This new beginning is not going to be easy, it will need patience and a cool head to manage all.

Guess now that we are getting into it and we will work it out and make it work completely to the T! Yes thats what marriage and relationships are all about. Needs some work. Needs thought process.

Its like a jigsaw puzzle that need to be solved and i a sure there would be a beautiful picture that forms at the end of it.

Relationships

Relationships of all kinds are like holding sand in your hand
Hold it loosely with an open hand, the sand remains where it is
The tighter you grasp it, the faster it trickles through your fingers

Hold your relationship loosely
with respect and freedom for the other person
it is likely to remain intact
But hold it too tightly, too possessively
then it will likely slips away.

--
Sent from my E71 smartphone

Tired

I have been tired, tired of i dont know what. Its the regular days at office and the regular fun after it. Its the heat. I am so tired that i cannot sleep. I am so tired that i dont want to wake up in the morning.

I feel exhausted. I feel deprived. Is it sleep or is it peace? I do not know. Is it the hard days work or is it the expectation. My mind works overtime. Juggling, guessing, figuring, all at one go. Things neesd to done. Tasks need to be completed. Lives need to be balanced. Everyone needs to be kept happy. What about my happiness? What what about my peace? Cant find it.

New life, new beginning, fresh start, lots to do, so little time. Its the relationships, its the money, its the trust, its the unsurity, its the insecurity, its the randomness, its the life, its the beginning, its music, its soothing, its cynical, its bearable, its awesome, its lovely.

Is it me? Is it them? Is it theirs? Is it mine? It is love! Is it sacrifice? Is it compromise? Its being together, its staying together, its being forever, its eberything. Its a mix. Its a cocktail. Its the ceremony. Its bliss. Its heavenly. Its super. Its boggling.

Hell i dont know what it is, but this time I DO Care!

Help!

Learnings

Every step we take,
Every mistake we make,
We put a lot at stake,
Some times its time to awake,

Learning from the mistakes and short comings is something we all have heard off and have been told about in the past as well by everyone. But sometimes ignorance gets the best of us and we choose the same path over and over again. Sometimes it gets pushed a little to far dor us to know.

Then comes poetic justice, something that jolts you up to reality, something that stirs you up so much that it leaves you numb! The idea is to wake up and mend the ways, you may think that there was nothing wrong or something that you said and did was completely harmless, however we live in a perceived world and perceptions are something that we niether know of nor understand completely till they come and hit us real hard in our face!

Anyways whatever happened, has happened. Cant change that and any more apology for that wouldnt suffice, the idea now is let go of what happened and start afresh, watch what you say, track what you do and how you do it. Life is all about keeping one's mouth shut when it matters the most.

Suddenly get this feeling of 'I used to have a Handle on life, but it Broke!'