Trippy

I havent taken a trip down that memory lane in a long time, its something that scares me, its the cold that makes me shiver with the goose-bumps. its something that keeps me from revisiting the past.

it feels like the sliver, that splinter of wood stuck under your skin that it cannot be seen, yet its a constant reminder via the pain that its capable of causing, something that always urges you to understand that every rose has a thorn and life may not be the bed of roses that you may have pictured it to be.

its a constant struggle that makes you wither with pain, understand that the black chapter of our lives need revisiting and some lessons need to be learnt from them over time. we tread the path that is lined with slivers all over and we hunt for our salvation, our way to achieve something new or run away from something in your past lives, but what we fail to understand is that those slivers work in our favour, we may choose not to travel that road and bury it somewhere in the deep and dark corners of our hearts and minds, thinking of moving on, no learning, not understanding.

The future is out support to forget the past and live through the present, but sometimes that future seems hazy, seems blinding, seems to be standing far, laughing at us and mocking us for what we do in our past and in our present, the futures shapes based on those actions.

its difficult to let go of someone whom u have loved and been there for for a long time, but there comes a time wherein we have to give in, we have to move in, we cannot be stuck in the present of what we are doing or the bright and happy future we may be seeing now, coz things just dont turn out to be the way they are always!

its a race for salvation, its a race for happiness. everyone is running a different race, yet we compete with each other! ironic! take those trips down memory lane and cherish them for whatever they are worth and live the dream for a brighter today and a sparkling tomorrow so that when u look back on these days, u know they were completely worth it!

Being Me

the aftermath of understanding happened yesterday! she read Understanding and cried, or almost on the verge! sometimes i feel that i shouldn’t have written it, sometimes i feel that i shouldn’t have shared it with her, sometimes i feel guilty, she doesn’t like it, she thinks she is sucking up-to me and its not gonna help me in any way.

i disagree, i wanna be there, i wanna meet her, i wanna hold her, i wanna be around, see her through, or maybe just see her come to me someday, someday when its not too late, someday when its still the sun shining, someday when the stars are smiling down, someday when the day begins…

she means something to me, she means a lot. the fact that circumstances prevent us from being together, doesn’t bother me, sometimes it does… she is someone who i have loved the longest, but guess that the irony of life, u don’t get someone whom u long for.

got to live with it, do my 2 bits till whenever time permits and just try and get her out of the grips and claws of the fate that is surrounding her, be her knight in the shining Armour! Its a fantasy, its a tale. its a myth and its surreal!

Understanding!

Its sometimes beyond me to understand some people and some thinking that goes on

i dont know y…. but with her its like, i know i will never ever be able to be with her for the complexities of life… but i love her to an extent that i expect nothing from her, its just that i get to speak to her and chat with her and it gives me satisfaction to know that i can help her in whatever mess her life has for her, and it doesnt bother me even once that i will never be able to be with her, coz she is seeing someone for 6 years and it never will materialise between us… but just the thoght she being there is good enuff for me..

there is a limit to how much i can push her… that will be encroaching her life which would mean crossing all limits of what we share now and nruining everything, whatever little i share with her

escapist attitude poori zindagi nahi chal sakta, concrete end karna padega coz if its not put and end to, it will haunt her future life even if she manages to get out of his clucthes but then again…

have gone to the extent of telling her that i am there for her… and if anyday she cant handle it… she can come to, the past doesnt matter to me, and its the future that i care about and i will be there for her….

help her with whatever she needs…i dont know! i encourage her everyday!!

i really have no option but to be the shoulder for her and listen her out and tell to break out…. tell her to end it all… i am there for her…

i have told her i am there for her and be there for her whatever the repuscussions be and i will stand by her and we’ll deal with it togther

she is not alone in this

i have no clue of his feelings for her… i dont undersatnd one thing… how can someone beat someone they love ya!! i mean kaise haath utha sakte ho!?

i told her even if he does tell her, before that she should tell her mum on her own and start the process of getting rid of him… he is playing her… emtionally, physically, mentally!!

she has confessed that she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown

thats the only thing that bothers me… u i dont want her to come to me even if she dumps him… i just want her to be with some who respect her for what she is, for the woman she is. for character!

Dreamer

You may say I'm a Dreamer
But i am not the only one
there are followers
and there are chasers

Dreams are plenty,
sometimes there are none
Passion is what it takes
to chase the right one

its lonely at the top
quite crowed right where i am
it feels good to be in company
not a bit lonely where i stand

Each passing day strengthens the faith
its not one more day that has passed
its one day less
towards the fulfillment of the dream

the thought of the day being near
fills me up with another zeal,
something that could be lethal
something that is driving

it all comes true,
its a matter of time
patience is what helps through
for all of us to come out at winners

The Stars!?

The stars shine down
And watch us live
Our little lives
And weep for us
something inside me calls out
wondering what i'm doing
thinking where i'm heading
the stars continue to shine
watching me
wondering & weeping
thinking what went wrong?
Living the dream wasn't this difficult
understanding the lives have always been a mystery
an enigma surrounds me
not of rush, but of vain
living under the stars each night,
thinking to myself, of the phase i'm in
of all things bright n beautiful,
this seems the dullest
such is life and this too shall pass
the stars keep shining..
Not missing a single night...