Warmth 

The Warmth...

After all that happened IN and AROUND me, I just sometimes wanna sit back all alone by the window... fix my gaze and think of the times... think of what could have happened and did not.

There is something inside me that forces me to think and say aloud... "Why Me?" Then Perplexity takes over and its like who cares of the pain... My man u've done a brave thing and taken a brave decision of letting go... letting go of memories, letting go of a loved one, a beloved.

This latter version of me is now stronger, its zestful and with a new defined attitude which pushes me to the limit and with never say die attitude leading to one simple learning... "Learn from your mistakes man" and so i did...

Its been good about 8 months and the memories already seem distant... you wud say that if it wa so easy to forget that means it wasnt what it was meant to be... Crushes come and go... espiaclly if you are on a rebound... but its in a way good that we dont grap these new found happiness' cuz it usually isn't always true... its the search within you that pushes you to fill the crater created by the one that left...

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle now... there is good education, sound working capability, decent understanding of things, great BUNCH of Buddies... Looking up to a great job ahead... the "why me?" part takes over here and says, "the only thing missing is S-U-N-S-H-I-N-E"... the latter part of me takes over and says "dont worry, u deserve someone who is true, when the SUN comes so would the SUNSHINE and along with it the Warmth"

I Wish... 

I Wish...

I wish you knew what you do to me
When you say what you do
And you say that you love me.
I wish you knew how deep my feelings are
And how much I love you just the way you are.
You’re the best thing in my life right now
And if its okay id like you to stay somehow
Just you and me I mean you and I
I can’t describe this feeling inside.
You’re the only one I can see myself with
For years to come and lots after this.
My words are true I can give you that
Believe it or not I love only you and that’s that
Hearing from you is the high point of my day,
I love to hear your voice even if it’s just to say "hey"
You and I, we were meant to be; that’s no fantasy to me
Just you and me cuddled close all night that is gonna be my fantasy tonight.
Even though you doubt my love,
I know in my heart that it’s white as a dove
It’s hard to deal with all the pain
Sometimes I just let it all wash away
Yes I cry and sometimes pray,
But today the rain will wash all my worries away.
You think I don’t love you but,
I just wish you knew...

Meaning of you 

What You Mean

To me, you are not another person, female or friend.
To me, you are my sun, my moon, and my stars.
Like the sun, you start and brighten up my day with your love and care.
Like the moon, you guide me through the darkness of the world
with your wisdom and understanding.
And when the sun does not shine nor does the moon glow,
I look into your eyes that glitter like the stars in the sky and
I find hope and patience.
To me, you are not another person, female, or friend.
You are my sun, my moon, and my stars.
You are my world.

Myself 

I Give mySelf to YOu

In my world of darkness
there's a streak of light
every time you're close
you brighten up the night

In my world of pain
you wipe away my tears
fighting my sorrow
chasing away my fears

In my world of selfishness
you're making me care
about other things than myself
just by being there

In my world of hate
you're shining through with love
making me feel better
seems you're sent from above

In my world of emptiness
where things all seem untrue
you're making me believe in love
that's why I give myself to you

I Dont Think You Understand 

I Dont Think You Understand!

I don't think you understand
I have so many feelings for you.
I feel our love could come true.
I don't think you understand
I really like you a lot.
Looking at you makes my heart
Hit that special spot.
I don't think you understand
You mean more than a friend to me.
I would travel the seven seas
Just for us to be.
I don't think you understand
How I wish our love could come true.
I would always do anything for you.
I don't think you understand
How much you really mean to me.
But if you could only see,
You truly mean a lot to me.

Everything That Goes Through my Head 

The Effect

The effect you leave on me
Is something unbelieveable
When you walk in the room
It makes my breath unbreathable

My heart leaps like a star
shooting in the sky
Your arms wrapped around me
Makes me want to cry.

Not the kind that brings sad thoughts
or the ones for fear
But the ones when you know that
The one you love is near.

With your hand around my waist
and your head hearing my heart
Your hand just grasping mine
Wishes we'd never part.

The way you tell me its all ok
and the way we get in fights
not only makes me yell at you
but you make it all alright

Im not scared with you near me
And im not afraid of you
The only thing i wish was true
Was that you love me too
I just cant stop falling for you*

BLiss 

She Doesnt Know

I think of her during the day.... but she doesn't know
I think of her at night.... but she doesn't know
She brings me happiness.... but she doesn't know
She brings me hurt.... but she doesn't know
She makes me smile.... but she doesn't know
She makes me cry.... but she doesn't know
I'd do everthing for her ...........bu she doesn't know
I'd do anthing for her.........but she doesn't know
I love her!...........................But....... she doesn't know.

On my Mind 

You Are Always On My Mind

No matter where I am, I find
You are always on my mind
From the start, could you see
That you became apart of me

When you came into my life
I was in a tunnel with out light
Your smile was so bright
That it turned to light, my darkest night

With you by my side
I will always abide
No matter where I am, through out time
You will always be, on my mind

What is Love! 

What is L-O-V-E?

For all people who say "I love you" even when they have no clue what love is exactly!

When we claim that it's love that we have for someone, are we correct? Something to ponder upon.....

You can't keep your eyes off of them, am I right?
It isn't love, it's a lust(sexual feelings)

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't love, it's luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't love, it's loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't love, it's a loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't love, it's a pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't love, it's an infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't love, it's a friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favourite things for their sake?
It isn't love, it's a charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply
It hurts?
Then it's love.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and hold you there?
Then it's love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it's love.

Could you allow them to leave you, not because they want to but because they have to?
Then it's love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's love.
May god bless all of us with true Love - the greatest treasure of anybody's life!

Wishes! 

Wishes!

He wishes upon stars
And hopes within dreams
That He'll never wake up;
He’s not what He seems.

Judgements passed upon him,
He doesn't even care
And He's still hoping to fall in love
With what's not even there.

He is a synonym for broken
And within him darkened soul,
The tears flow unrestricted
But He'll never let you know.

So He stares up at the night sky,
And drifts within the moonbeam's glow
God tells me He's an angel,
But I already know

You are the Light that shines in my heart
And keeps me from losing my way.
Your Love, Is the shoulder where I rest my head
When I am tired and feel I cannot go on.

Your Heart, Beats with the rhythm
That my world moves by.
Your Hands, Guide me
So I do not fall.

Your Words, That you speak to me
Lifts my spirit when it is down.
Your Feet, Leave footprints
So that I may follow.

Your Arms, Hold me when I am cold
And keeps me warm.
Your Body, when it moves
Shows me just how much you love me.

Your Eyes, Are the mirrors that let me see
Just how much I Love You !
Is this a dream
To which I've yet to wake?

Open my eyes and
All is gone but a shameful ache?
Are these whispered words, pulsing emotions
Created inside my head?

All an illusion, to find I wake
Drowning in tears, in which I shed.
Everything that I wished for,
All that I felt, was it real?

Or was it just a mere fantasy
Of what I wanted to feel?
If I do fall asleep, will I find you
If I fall into my dream land again?

Or is it just a passing of hearts,
Emotions tossed into the wind?
Whirling emotions,
Of a love in my heart,

I embrace so deep,
Passion shattered,
Tossed about,
Falling freely,

As I yearn again to sleep.
To Dream . . . the ultimate dream.

What is it? 

What is it about?

You are about to go away, live far away from me it will kill me, but I know in my heart that we are doing the right thing. I don't want to lose you for anyone else or anything that anyone has to say about you. I want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of my heart. My love for you is unconditional. The love for you is so strong and the most powerful feeling that I have had in a long time and I am just at a lost for words when it comes to you. I just wish that there was another way that we could be together without living so far apart right at the time being. I want you to know that I love you and always will and there is nothing that will ever change that about how I feel...

I know that sometimes pride gets in the way of expressing emotions. I believe that is the cause of my reticence in telling you how I feel sometimes, that and the fact that passion in an extreme state can be scary, you almost just want to shut it away for fear that it will eventually destroy you. I think of my feelings, my love for you not with craving or with hope or even desire, but just with a kind of wonder that such things could be. You have opened my eyes to how love should feel. I can promise you this, I will never again settle for less.

But, at this time in both of our lives, we are surrounded by possibilities of choice, open doors and wide horizons, which I know, may will between us. But I also know and hope that they could eventually bring us together, with both of us being better people for the time we spent apart. And so for now I function between maybe and maybe not. It's a strange mixture of love and sorrow and hope and longing and faith. And even though you are far away, you're all that I can see, I carry you with me through all my days and I will miss you more than I can say.

There is just something about the autumn air that makes me feel at ease and open to love. It's hard to describe the emotion churning inside my body. It is like a delicate thunderstorm.

I love you with all that I am, all that I was and all that I will ever be. Please know that my love and I are inseparable and I would want it no other way and if time could express my love for you then its forever and a day. I can't wait to be with you, see your smile, look in your eyes, feel your sweet touch, hear your perfect words and kiss your perfect lips. The way I feel about you some people call crazy, some call it insane, but I call it true love. I really love you.

Love is huge. I will work hardest to reach it. My love is only for you. I will present it just for you - just for you. When I met you, my heart shook. I haven't been able to escape you. I will hold you all my life, it's my promise. I want to show you how very big my love is for you - everyday, every night, every time, all my life.

"When it rains it reminds me of you. Although 200 kms away is not all that far I still always walk outside in the rain and kiss it just for you. It never fails me. The rain will always come and I'll always love you. Next time you see a storm on the horizon, please don't fear its just heaven doing me the favor of taking you my kiss. Walk outside and kiss the rain whenever you need me."

When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between your fingers; remember that in those spaces you can see my fingers locked with yours forever.

Up in the skies, I look very carefully to see your face. I wonder if you're there, I wonder if tonight you're thinking of me. I just want to tell you that looking at the stars makes me think of you. By looking at it I just want to be where you are, and hold you tight and never let go!!

Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.

And even though I know how very far apart we are, it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star. And when the night winds start to sing a lonesome lullaby, it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky. Somewhere out there, if love can see us through then, we'll be together...

Somewhere out there, out where dreams, come true.

Like you 

Like you

I like you,
not for you,
But for how you make me feel.
Feel so good about myselfAnd I believe.
I like you, not for you,
But for how comfortable I am in your presence.
Feel so good about myself
And I have no inhibitions
When I'm with you.
And I believe.I believe.
I like you, not for you,
But for how we are when we're together.
If I let myself,If I like you for you,
I get to expecting and hoping;
I get to dreaming and believing.
In the end I'll be the one leaving you to
Pick up the pieces of my broken heart
If I let myself like you for you.

I Don’t Think You Understand

I don't think you understand
I have so many feelings for you.
I feel it could come true.
I don't think you understand
I really like you a lot.
Looking at you makes my heart
Hit that special spot.
I don't think you understand
You mean more than a friend to me.
I would travel the seven seas
Just for us to be.
I don't think you understand
How I wish our love could come true.
I would always do anything for you.
I don't think you understand
How much you really mean to me.
But if you could only see,
You truly mean a lot to me.In my world of darknessthere's a streak of lightevery time you're closeyou brighten up the nightIn my world of pain

Wings to Fly 

Without You

Miss You

I’ll miss you when you’re gone,
I’ll miss you when you’re away,
Miss you over coffee,
Miss your tantrums,
Miss your smile,
Miss the dinners with you,
Miss the lunches,
Miss the bike rides,
Miss the discussions we used to have,
Miss having the last say,
Miss the small fights we sometimes had,
Miss your eagerness,
Miss your tenderness,
Miss the missed calls,
Miss waiting for you,
Miss cheering you up,
Miss talking about relationships n life,
While you’re away and far…
Will be there for you wherever you are…
Coz I’ll miss you when you’re away,
I’ll miss you when you’re gone…

Caged Bird 

Nothing...

Some one once told me long back that i have a problem with expressing myself... i tried, tried real hard so that i could do something about this "problem" of mine... tried all the highs and lows and all the possible ways i could turn this "problem" into a strength...

well to be honest i just couldn't... as they say old habits die hard! and hard habits hardly die!! so as to say that i've just been the way i'm... just the way i was...

Nothing's changed... everything is the way it was to be... its the same "new" me... the same "new situation"....

I'm thinking of her again... trying to let my mind go over these "something" time. what would it have been to still be with her all this time... living my life bit by bit.... unfolding one fold at a time...

thats not what is to be... she is not here... i'm alone... but there is something that surrounds me... maybe its her fragrance... her memory... its not that i'm MISSING her... or wishing that either she or someone else should have been here so that i could hold someone dear"

I hope sometimes... I dream sometimes... I wanna Love & be Loved all the time...
What is it? I havnt been able to figure it out... Maybe

its just nothing... its just... its...

Perplexity

Well to tell you the truth...i am confused...

I'm divided in 2 parts

1. I still like/love her somewhere in my heart, and probably will always do maybe till i dont find someone else... i dont know when and how that is going to be. this part of me wants to be in touch with her
2. There is athe second half of me which is changed n matured over time... more focus and conservative... THIS PART OF ME IS ALL SHAKEN UP LOW ON CONFIDENCE WHEN IT COMES TO TRYING TO FALL IN LOVE. so i wanna stay away n not relive the TRAUMA that i went through in Jan...

Please help me out... coz right now i dont know HOW to feel, This Feeling is getting scary by the minute... there is this irritation building up inside which i dont know how to get rid of...

I will tell u the truth I am happy that she is no longer in India, there is no chance of me BUMPING into Her .. I'm grateful that she has taken the Past away with her, where ever she is.

HONESTLY I WOULD LIKE TO MEET HER SOMETIME... BUT A LONG TIME FROM NOW... WHEN I'm SETTELED N She IS SETTLED...That is the time when THERE IS NOTHING TO REPENT on!

I want some one close to me... some one whom i can be with... someone who understands me...someone i understand someone who can be with me... someone whom i can trust... Some one to be close and in proximity... I want some S-U-NS-H-I-N-E!!

"MAYBE IT WASNT MEANT TO BE, MAYBE IT WASNT IN MY DESTINY,
I ENDED UP BEING FREE, WRITING MY OWN DESTINY"

New beginning

how does it feel to be bitten by the Reminiscence bug? Taking an unwanted trip down the memory lane... Something that you dreaded all along and then suddenly u just have to dive back and relive the moment of 2 years that they say should be the best of your life...

you must be wondering which 2 years is this guy talking about? Well its not my PG nor my Graduation... These 2 years are the one that I spent in love... Not that I don't love anymore or I'm loveless anymore... But yah... Its been so long that it ended...

ending the relationship was not the easiest thing that could have happened, especially when I did not want it to end... 2 years is hell of a long time to fall in love over again... But if u hear that "I don't feel for you anymore", your world is bound to come crashing down... Who else will know better than me... First hand experience speaks!

It all happened today when after 8 months i met her online on MSN chat... the last 2 years n 8months came rushing back to me like a tornado, whirlwind and i just cud not help sending her a message and asking her how she was...

i regret it so much now... coz i know now my life is going to be in turmoil again and i'm gonna stay grumpy till it clears...

God help me... is all i can say....

it happens so often that i cant get over what i went through in Jan... but i guess even after 2 years of being together i can just say "I wasnt meant to be, guess it wasnt in my destiny"